Laughter through pain-
A game we play;
A smile on our face,
So we see the smile on theirs
Are we so important,
That they can’t see us frown?
Are they so important,
That we can’t see them frown?
Pain through laughter
We bear
A pain in our laughter
Lest there be in theirs.
~Aditya
Catch me a dream,
Make it unreal,
Make it surreal,
Make it real.
Roam far and wide,
Roam near and dear,
Roam everywhere,
Roam whilst I sleep.
Bring me a morning,
Dream catcher,
Far from here,
Here.
Catch me a reality;
Make it unreal,
Dream catcher,
Make it.
~Aditya
Empty,
Barren,
Shorn of weed,
It glows
With light,
Reflecting
Off the surface.
It shows
Age,
Wisdom
Experience.
Not
Shame
Disgrace.
I cover it,
With
Someone elses
Coiffure.
Is it a cover
For my head or me?
A wig.
I open the doors,
Once left closed.
Were they closed,
To keep the world out?
Or were they closed,
To keep me in?
Now
The doors are open,
Am I left open?
Things inside,
Are they shown
Outside?
Closed doors,
Closed to the world,
Open to me.
Open doors,
Open to the world,
Closed to me.
You left years ago,
Or was it me who left?
Times have moved
Between us,
Creating a chasm,
Where there was none.
This gorge that lies,
Insurmountable,
Yet invisible,
Now the voice
I hear,
Is that of a stranger,
Is that of an unknown.
Memories lie deep inside,
Too deep to arise,
Too far below
Below, on the surface.
They come streaming back,
Bringing memories,
Those that lie deep inside,
Too far below,
Too deep below
Not to arise.
A foreign place,
Faces unknown,
Places unseen.
Things to do,
Infinite,
People to meet,
Unbound.
Sitting in a corner,
Watching time fly by,
Harboring hopes,
Dreaming dreams,
Of times past.
Things done,
Once, twice, umpteen times.
People met,
Yearly, weekly, daily.
I sit alone, yet
I sit not alone
Looking back.
12th June 2007
~Aditya
This post is as a result of a series of exchanges between Suchitra and me. During the course of the conversation, we came upon a topic, which on her request I am reproducing here with some minor alterations.
The question that is being asked is what to do when we notice that people are destroying the image that they hold of themselves at the feet of someone else. Is there a way that one should react to the same?
In case there is something that needs to be held as dear as the self, is it then better not to have that precious thing at all, not to find it at all, let it sleep? Rather than have it, and struggle to safeguard it, would it not be better to go with a time-tested route, and not lose anything?
My take on this is simple.
There cannot be a reaction to such a situation. In case one wants to do something about it, the only thing is pre-emptive action. Actually, I really do not care if the self of others is destroyed. For me, if one is not able to safeguard what should be their most treasured commodity, then they do not have the right to have it in the first place.
The ultimate aim of any man is and has always been peace. There are two ways that a man can reach that peace. He can either understand what he is looking at thereby find peace. Or else, he can suspend that desire to understand and therefore not be bothered by it.
To the sane mind, the second possibility should sound very insane. The reason I say this is because the ability to think is what makes us humans in the first place. If it were not employed, if that faculty was ignored, not made use of, is there anything that separates us from the dogs, cats and all the other animals and plants that coexist in the same world?
Moving from the concept of self for sometime, I will try to throw some light upon why does a man claim a thing as his own. By doing this, I shall try to show why are there different levels of possessiveness for things that a man claims his own.
There are two instances when a man claims something as his own. The first is when he has been given something. This can be a gift or an inheritance. It is when he did not have to do anything to get that. He has it because he is alive. In such a circumstance, the receiver will know heart of heart that he has done nothing to have possession of that. In such a circumstance, he will know that as it comes so will it go. This means that the amount of possessiveness, though present, will be less.
The other thing is something for which he has toiled. The very fact that he has toiled to get this means that he wanted it in the first place and then when he got it, it is so important to him that he will over possessive about it. This can be anything ranging from a book, to the all-important self.
The concept of the self is the latter. One develops a strong idea of the self only after having gone through tremendous amount of psychological trauma and having literally walked through fire. This means that the person will be so possessive of this that no one can come close.
The logical question is why does one have to toil for the concept of self? The answer is because no one is born with it and no can learn of it from others. The only way that one can understand the concept of self is either by realizing it or by losing it and then finding it out.
This comes to the question why it is this important. I shall ask one in retort. How long can one be someone they are not? How long can one live of the ego of others?
Everyone has some amount of self-importance, the feeling that he is someone in the whole jigsaw puzzle of life. Every time they acknowledge the fact that, they have taken someone else’s ego to make themselves feel better, they shall lose some of that self importance. It is but natural that after some time, that shall start telling them, “Enough is enough. It does not matter how difficult it is but start acknowledging the fact that you are as important as anyone else. Even if you are not as successful, even if you are not as beautiful, even if you are not as brilliant, you are you and that makes you unique.”
When this happens, it is natural for them to start developing their concept of “I”.
When one lets it sleep, they are putting themselves to mud. They are telling the world in not so many words that they are scum and that they do not deserve to live.
There is no time tested routine. There is no path that has been walked on previously. Even if someone has been on this, one will not know unless they are on that path themselves. That means that they have already made that choice before they know who else has either made the choice now or had made that choice in the past. Therefore it is not possible to let it sleep.
When you ask me this, if it is not better to let the self, sleep, think of what it means to let that precious thing sleep. It means that you yourself deny your right of being yourself. If you are not you, then who are you? What is your identity?
Think to live,
Understand to think,
Know to understand,
Search to know,
Yourself, search.
A thousand things I want to say,
A million things, to hear.
Sitting in silence,
Sitting in pandemonium,
I say all those words
I hear all those things.
Lost.
~Aditya
P.S. May the owner know, I stole, I used, I state.
A week down in Mumbai and here are my first words on a word file. This has to do with one of my own previous posts, Reason.
In the course of that argument, I tried to present the idea that reason was paramount and everything stemmed from that. Even though even now I hold that thought dear, I was shown that reason, though being paramount is not absolute. The reason being there is a limit up to which reason can go.
During the course of this present argument, I shall play the devil’s advocate, a role I do well. The defendant is one who thinks that reason is paramount, namely, me.
Devil’s Advocate (henceforth DA): Which is bigger faith or reason?
Poor Ol’ Me (henceforth POM) : Reason
DA: Why?
POM: Because faith arises when reason fails
DA: Elucidate
POM: Go and read my article called Reason, or something like that
DA: Have read that and that is the reason I come to you
POM: In spite of reading that, do you still have doubts? You must be one gigantic *!@%$#~^&*
DA: We’ll see who is that *!@%$#~^&*
POM: How will this go? Will you ask the question or will I have to? Aka Shivaji in Thiruvilaiyadal (Kaelvigalai nee kaekiraya, ala, naan kaekatuma?)
DA: Me will ask, I cannot answer, aka Nagesh (Nanne kaeakaren, ennaku kaeka than theriyum)
Curious Onlooker: Great, this is a good competition (Ballae, seriyana poetti )
POM: Ask on
DA: Why is reason greater than faith?
POM: Because when reason comes in faith disappears
DA: What is the base of reason?
POM: Reason does not have a base, reason is, therefore, reason is
DA: There you go again, with your lines that no one follow. Who decides reason and how to apply it?
POM: Each individual
DA: Does each person know everything?
POM: No
DA: Then how can his reason be perfect?
POM: I have no clue what you are trying to say
DA: I will ask a question. What is the world made up of?
POM: Matter
DA: What is matter made up of?
POM: Protons, neutrons and electrons
DA: What are they made of?
POM: Quarks and neutrinos
DA: Have you ever seen a quark?
POM: No
DA: Have you ever seen a neutrino?
POM: No
DA: Have you ever done any experiment to show that matter consists of those three particles, protons, neutrons, and electrons?
POM: No
DA: Then how can you argue with me that matter has that?
POM: I know this because I read it somewhere that someone did some experiment. The name of those people who did the experiment is not important, but the result is. The conclusion of that experiment is that matter has those particles.
DA: That means that you are taking it on the belief that person was faultless in the experiment, and so where the thousands who followed him and did the same thing.
POM: Yes
DA: That means that you are going by faith, faith on that person and his scientific abilities
POM: I think so
DA: Even that, my dear, you thinking so, is faith
POM: Cut the crap and tell me what it is you are trying to say
DA: Like, how in religion, faith departs when reason comes in, there will come a time when reason shall fail. This can be because the knowledge of man which he has to apply to arrive at the reason shall become null and void, or the cognitive ability, that which makes him think shall dry out, or the limits that are enforced on his activities by his environment will take a turn for the worse. When I say this, I mean that he will not be able to reason further than what he has so far. When such a state is arrived, reason fails. Any progress that man makes after this is based not on reason, but only faith. It is faith that makes me think that the universe is a result of a big bang, just as it is faith that tells you that there is a god.
Faith is not supreme, neither is reason. It is a loop. One cannot exist with the other, but then one cannot exist without the other as well. Faith, even though blind, needs to have a reason, a cause, and a justification. Reason, even though more objective, even though more cognitive, needs faith, faith on works done before and faith on us, for it is us who reason.
Faith in reason,
Reason in faith.
Both are alone,
Both are together.
Bring one,
The other dies.
Remove one,
The other is dead.
Disclaimer: I had this actual conversation with two people, one showed me that reason is faith, and the other showed me faith is reason. I guess that I shall be forever indebted to them for this post.
