Faith

There are times when I surprise myself. The things that I come up with in the head of mine put me to shame. I look back at what I write and I am spell bound. One of those is something that I wrote regarding the breakup that happened to a friend of mine. I ended the piece with the following lines: Faith lost in a person can be redeemed; faith lost in a relationship can redeemed. However, faith lost in the reason for the relationship cannot be redeemed.

I thought, when I read these lines, why not make a whole piece on them considering the fact that the world today is made up of quick dating and the tick tock bang, thank you madam types.

As usual, I need to begin with the definition of the word faith. Does the word belief cover everything that faith has to offer? I think not. The word faith is much more obscure than belief. Belief is what we have on something that we are not sure about. Like the belief in god, the belief in something happening. It does not need any proof to exist.

However, faith on the other hand needs a certain degree of proof, a certain amount of evidence. Without this evidence, faith is just another belief that the human psyche has. So what does this faith have to do with the human relationship and what does it have to do with the making or breaking of the bond that exists between two people?

When we come to know a person, we ascertain a set of qualities to that person. Whenever we happen to meet them, we shall run those qualities in our head and then decide the type pf response to offer. One of the qualities is faith. This is complete belief in that person. Ti is not necessary that the faith of two people on the same person be the same. This is because faith is subjective. What I see as a quality that provides faith to me may cause another person to lose the same faith. Simplest example that I can think of is faith on a thief. The boss of the thief has faith on the man, while society as a whole does not.

Similarly even relationships run on faith, faith that the other person is committed. The level of commitment is known to the other person and based on the commitment that he/she needs, the relationship shall run smoothly, or in troubled waters.

What happens to make someone lose faith? It could be many things; the way that one acts, the way that they talk or just the way that they are. In the beginning, when everything seems rosy, people shall over look small things or think that such things will not trouble them, only to discover that they actually do. Later on in life, when such things do happen, the qualities that were ascertained to that person are belittled. They realize that what they thought was the truth and what it is are two different things. It is then they begin to lose faith in the other person.

What makes one lose faith in a person and still have faith in a relationship? Take the case of two parents, who have a child. Even if they have realized that they are not in love with each other or worse they come to know that they other is having affairs on the side, they shall lose faith in the spouse. However, in more cases than not, they shall have faith in the relation of parents, because the fact that they are not loyal to each other does not prevent them from being good parents.

The final part - lost of faith in reason of existence of a relation. This is what keeps a relation going. It is the very fabric of a relation. It case of couples, that reason may be love, in case of friends could be the way that they interact. I shall not give an example for this but then I request you to take a minute and reflect on what will happen if the faith on the fabric of your relation with another human being is built on is torn. Will you be able to trust the other person again, will you ever be able to act the same way that you used to? I think not. That is why I believe “Faith lost in a person can be redeemed; faith lost in a relationship can redeemed. However, faith lost in the reason for the relationship cannot be redeemed.”

Platonic Relationship

In the world, at the ideal state there is said to exist an equal ratio of women to men. That makes the age old statement “for every person there is someone in this world”. But then more than that one person, it is the bonds that we create with others that make life more livable.

What is a sign of a modern society? Is it having cars, mansions, economies booming, where everyone is getting richer everyday? What I am asking is whether the society is classified by what it does or how it does what it does?

The society is defined by thousands of rules that one needs to follow. These rules are defined by wisdom (supposedly) handed down through the centuries and create the environment that we live in. it is one of these worldly words of wisdom that I want to question.

Taking off from what I was talking about, the concept of the elusive someone, that one person who can bring sunlight into the darkest gloom, that soul mate. I had a friend who once told me that she had a soul mate and she had to let him go and never in her life will she ever love someone as she loved him. But then when I went into asking her how it happened, it all came out. They were the best of friends and then one fine day lightening decides to strike. She realizes that he is the one with whom she will be the happiest.

I am not going to question what she feels, but then what I wanted to ask was why was it that most of the people that become lovers in life start as friends; some as members in the same group, the others as the best friends, who one fine day decide they want their relationship to transcend into another plane. One of my best friends told me once that has been told to me by parents for years, that a boy and girl can never have a platonic relationship.

I do agree that the people that start of as friends are better able to live with the other person. They already have a base to work on and they know most of there is to know about the person they are besotted with. It seems to make life so much easier when you have a friend and then they become the person that you spend the rest of your life with. Does that mean there is no way that a relation can be platonic in this world?

What is a platonic relationship? The dictionary describes it as being nonsexual. That does seem to be the dictionary meaning. But then is it the real sense that one gives when they say that they are platonic? I think not.

Boys will be boys and girls, girls. In a situation like this, the two of them have to meet in the middle to have a relationship going. By relation I do not mean in the physical sense. So it is natural for them both to have some undercurrents going. There shall be times when they look at the other and see the qualities that make them special. At times like this they shall wish what if the other person was something more than just a friend, what if they were the one that they could spend the entire life with. But then they shall realize that it is just an impulse and that the thought holds no backing. They shall not voice that momentary feeling and the relation remains one of platonic; devoid of all sexual connotations. There in lies the root to true relationship, to think as to what is best for the parties involved and to realize that all actions acted on impulses are not worth the effort. As they say, better to lose the battle to win the war.

Blank Stares

Do not give me that blank stare
You know as well as I do
The reason you are leaving now.
Times seem to have changed,
People seem to have changed.
I have remained the same
In a world that changed around me.
I expected the people I cared for
To care back for me.
I never realized
The fact that was so obvious.
I am just another in their lives,
Not the sole reason they live.
Another stone in the pathway
Another face in the crowd.
I never expect anymore
It is easier this way.
I am not angry you are going,
I am sad you are not staying.
The times we shared fresh in my mind
The times we should have shared
Remain in my heart.
Go if you have to now
Promise me nothing
Time moves along and so shall I
The pain that runs through me now
Shall pass some day to become memories
Then we shall meet dear
With the same blank stare on each others face.

The Truth

The sky seems to open up on me,
The light getting too dim to see,
Lend me light me dear friend,
Told me up till the end.
Hope runs away from us,
But we aren’t ones to make a fuss.
We are enough of strength to the other,
Of rest of the world we don’t bother.
The worlds an amazing place to behold,
Of stories and tales still to be told,
We are the ones who shall see
Of all that we can ever be.
Stand by me my dear one,
Tell me the truth of things undone,
I am the person that you have seen,
In your dreams, what you have been.
Dated: 11:02:04

Opinions

What is it about people that makes you like them or dislike them? How come some opinions change over time, some over a period of minutes and some stay the same no matter how long it has been since you last had contact with them?

Opinions are the result of instant judgment that people do unconsciously. The judging factors lie in the judgor rather than the judgee. Main criteria are whether the person resembles what we think are the features of a likeable person. For someone who likes to be well groomed, this would mean that the other person is presentable and seems to take care in the way that he/she appears, while to a person who believes that looking shabby is the way to go then, that is what he/she will look for.

Once we are done with the superficial level, then we get into the nitty-gritty details of that persons character. This is based on two parts - the one that is prescribed by the society as to what a normal sane person should be and the other what the personal thought process prescribes. It is difficult to quote examples for this but I shall try. In most societies, smoking and drinking are considered bad habits. To some it is a vice, to others it is pleasure. When a person from a closed family that strongly believes not smoking and not drinking comes into the open world for higher studies, employment or some reason, the first impression that is formed is one of dislike. This is the societal prescription taking effect.

There will be circumstances that a non-smoking and non-drinking person is in the company of people with the above vices and still likes them. Then their personal judgment of the people deems that even though he/she considers it a vice, the people who do so do it according to their free will and that their other characters are good enough to compensate for the vices.

Whenever a person says that he/she likes or doesn’t like you, do not take it personally. Remember that more times than not, it is their upbringing and not the person. If that person has actually spent some quality time with you and then there is like/ dislike, then that is an opinion formed beyond the boundaries of society and that is the real opinion.

The concept of writing

What makes a writer different from all the people around him? This has been a question that I have thought over and I am yet to come up with a competent answer. I can remember the first time I tried my hand at writing. My friend has written a piece called “The Vice Principal”, that was a take on a staff in school that he did not like. When I came away from that school and joined another, I was so against my chemistry teacher that I took the lead from that and wrote a small poem called “My Chemistry Teacher”. Plagiarism got me started.

Ever since then ideas and thoughts have come, some as torrents and others as a trickle and I have spent time to make sure that I pen them down, if not for others to read, at least for myself. Half of what I write seems to be really bad when I read them the next time, that I am forced to change half the words.

What makes a person who can write so special? The thing that comes to mind is they are able to put their thoughts to paper. That is thing that I love. The ability to convey the thought process that goes on in ones head and to be able to transfer it to another is amazing. Even though what I intend to pass and what is received is altogether different, the opportunity that arises is mind boggling.

It does not matter what others think of ones writing. When it comes to expressing ones views, it is not guaranteed that someone else shall endorse what I think. I can not write what others want me to write. That is not the purest form of writing. Then what is?

One could be when you write for the sake of writing. There is nothing more pure than sitting with a thought process in your head, lead by some unknown hand to a place, where you want to save that thought for all eternity, so that you can revisit it as and when you please. That for me is the purest from of writing.

Writers are neither born nor are they made. They just are.

Unfinished Business

The inspiration stops,
I am not able to continue the flow.
my hero lays waiting for my pen,
to let him finish the villain off.

I am not able to think as to why the killing must be done,
I can not fathom the hero's idea,
even though he is my creation.

the heroine waits beside,
willing me to go on,
to send her on the happy ending ever after.
her needs I can understand.
she is over come by the magic called love.

my favorite of the lot
is the bad, the villain.
I see more of myself in this man
than I do in the entire cast.
he is dark and scary,
doing as he pleases, he is not scared
swimming against the tide of the flow.
he was the toughest character to create,
and his memory shall last further than the other two.

the other people in the plot of mine
pale to insignificance
in the light of the fever of these three,
the fight between the good, fair and the bad.

I cant go on any longer,
I leave my story on the couch,
an unfinished business.

Thoughts

As I stood staring at those eyes,
A solitary thought that was running.
Am I alone in my thoughts
Or is she thinking what I am?
I was in love with this woman
But could not say what she thought.
She quipped bringing to my senses,
" You are thinking what I am thinking?"
I was suprised to realise
I so transperant to her.
I smiled at her, then she frowned.
"I want to know what you are thinking,
And it is funny to you?"
Then it dawned upon me,
Ones thoughts are ones personal realm.
Access is never granted nor can be,
The only way in is through my mouth.

The Snake Charmer

I want to write,
But cannot think of a thing to say.
My ideas do not flow, T
ry and try as I may.

I am jolted out of the blue
But the sound of a pipe being blown.
I know that is no use anymore,
My thoughts have simply flown.

I looked out of the window,
Hoping to catch the origin of the sound.
Maybe I shall be given back my idea
Gift wrapped and bound.

A crowd has gathered before my gate,
I am more curious than the cat that died.
I venture from the domain I have set
To restrain myself unlike the tide.

I walk out of the gate
To the sound of a snake charmer's pipe,
Eking out a living
To feed his family's gripe.

He plays the flute like a maestro
In front of an appreciating crowd,
To invoke his snake to come out
From its self induced shroud.

The cobra rears up its head
So majestic and beautiful.
To the awe-struck crowd it appears
Like a pet so dutiful.

It has been rendered impotent,
By its owner, in fear
Fear of being undone by a far better being
That tries to save its skin dear.

Unaware of the lack of poison,
It dances to the unheard tune.
It sways to the vibes of the charmer’s feet
The charmer who is now immune.

He makes the snake strike him
To the scare of all
Lest he be poisoned by the snake
And at that very spot fall.

The serpent hisses a bit and hushes us all
The only sound of the snake hiss
The charmer stops and places the hood,
"A paisa for the snake, mister and miss"

The crowd pay what they please and then disperse, T
he snake charmer moves on too far to see,
I am now left standing alone, pondering
What to become of my hero and me

Vulnerability

I was thinking about what makes people strong in the face of adversity. For those who claim to know my characteristics, I am sure that you find it amazing that I have the faculty to think. However, there are times that I actually think. One thought lead to another as they always do and I finally began the concept of vulnerability. What does the word mean and what is its significance? Why do people fear the word and they take great pains to ensure that they not as vulnerable? What is it that is so special about this small word?

Personally, before I begin, I would like to say that there have been times that I have been so vulnerable that it pained. Therefore, I guess that gives me the authority to comment on the topic.

Vulnerability is the quality of a person that makes them open to external attack. This is in both the physical and psychological sense. However, being the weakling that I take pride in being, I shall not deal with the physical sense. That is for those people that take karate lessons and go work out in the gym daily. Those are another thing all together and let us not talk about that. I shall talk about what it is to be vulnerable emotionally. I do not want to go into what makes one vulnerable and why they should do if they are so. I want to touch upon the importance of being vulnerable.

In today’s world, more and more people want to be seen as strong people who are always in control and are scared of the word vulnerability and all that it signifies. They believe that the more in control they seem to be, the better they are professionally. Moreover, who gives a damn for the personal life anyway?

However, I have seen that vulnerability has strange effects on people.  By people, I mean me. It took me sometime to realize that vulnerability is not a bad thing. When one is vulnerable, open to the world, one can learn many things. They range from the mundane things about others to the most important question of them all. Let me see if I can take you through them. I believe that it is only when you are vulnerable that you realize who your friends are and who the enemies are. At a time when you are down, emotionally, if a person takes advantage of you, then he is not one you should keep close to your heart. A person who knows that you open, is ready to stand beside you, in my opinion is a good friend.

What is the opposite of being vulnerable? Is it being strong? Well it is not necessary. One can be strong and still make a mess of life. I am not saying that the vulnerable ones make a mess of life. That is the perception that is doing the rounds. Being strong is a case of not being in touch with who you are and what you want. It is like a mask that one wears to show the world that all is well within oneself. I have seen many cases where the people seem strong and they have become a mess inside. They have been hiding from what they should have realized long ago. That brings me to the most important characteristic of vulnerability, its ability to answer the question,” Who am I?” It gives a clear picture of the truth and all that goes with it. All your wants and your needs, everything that you say and do is direct from the depths of your being. There is nothing that wraps anything that you say and do. In a relationship, it is important to share this vulnerability. It shall enhance the relationship. There are times when I hated myself for being so open, but then this is but one life. Live it so that we never regret what happens or rather what does not happen. Be true to yourself and give others a chance to be true to you.