Opinions

What is it about people that makes you like them or dislike them? How come some opinions change over time, some over a period of minutes and some stay the same no matter how long it has been since you last had contact with them?

Opinions are the result of instant judgment that people do unconsciously. The judging factors lie in the judgor rather than the judgee. Main criteria are whether the person resembles what we think are the features of a likeable person. For someone who likes to be well groomed, this would mean that the other person is presentable and seems to take care in the way that he/she appears, while to a person who believes that looking shabby is the way to go then, that is what he/she will look for.

Once we are done with the superficial level, then we get into the nitty-gritty details of that persons character. This is based on two parts - the one that is prescribed by the society as to what a normal sane person should be and the other what the personal thought process prescribes. It is difficult to quote examples for this but I shall try. In most societies, smoking and drinking are considered bad habits. To some it is a vice, to others it is pleasure. When a person from a closed family that strongly believes not smoking and not drinking comes into the open world for higher studies, employment or some reason, the first impression that is formed is one of dislike. This is the societal prescription taking effect.

There will be circumstances that a non-smoking and non-drinking person is in the company of people with the above vices and still likes them. Then their personal judgment of the people deems that even though he/she considers it a vice, the people who do so do it according to their free will and that their other characters are good enough to compensate for the vices.

Whenever a person says that he/she likes or doesn’t like you, do not take it personally. Remember that more times than not, it is their upbringing and not the person. If that person has actually spent some quality time with you and then there is like/ dislike, then that is an opinion formed beyond the boundaries of society and that is the real opinion.