March 11, 2006


There are times when I surprise myself. The things that I come up with in the head of mine put me to shame. I look back at what I write and I am spell bound. One of those is something that I wrote regarding the breakup that happened to a friend of mine. I ended the piece with the following lines: Faith lost in a person can be redeemed; faith lost in a relationship can redeemed. However, faith lost in the reason for the relationship cannot be redeemed.

I thought, when I read these lines, why not make a whole piece on them considering the fact that the world today is made up of quick dating and the tick tock bang, thank you madam types.

As usual, I need to begin with the definition of the word faith. Does the word belief cover everything that faith has to offer? I think not. The word faith is much more obscure than belief. Belief is what we have on something that we are not sure about. Like the belief in god, the belief in something happening. It does not need any proof to exist.

However, faith on the other hand needs a certain degree of proof, a certain amount of evidence. Without this evidence, faith is just another belief that the human psyche has. So what does this faith have to do with the human relationship and what does it have to do with the making or breaking of the bond that exists between two people?

When we come to know a person, we ascertain a set of qualities to that person. Whenever we happen to meet them, we shall run those qualities in our head and then decide the type pf response to offer. One of the qualities is faith. This is complete belief in that person. Ti is not necessary that the faith of two people on the same person be the same. This is because faith is subjective. What I see as a quality that provides faith to me may cause another person to lose the same faith. Simplest example that I can think of is faith on a thief. The boss of the thief has faith on the man, while society as a whole does not.

Similarly even relationships run on faith, faith that the other person is committed. The level of commitment is known to the other person and based on the commitment that he/she needs, the relationship shall run smoothly, or in troubled waters.

What happens to make someone lose faith? It could be many things; the way that one acts, the way that they talk or just the way that they are. In the beginning, when everything seems rosy, people shall over look small things or think that such things will not trouble them, only to discover that they actually do. Later on in life, when such things do happen, the qualities that were ascertained to that person are belittled. They realize that what they thought was the truth and what it is are two different things. It is then they begin to lose faith in the other person.

What makes one lose faith in a person and still have faith in a relationship? Take the case of two parents, who have a child. Even if they have realized that they are not in love with each other or worse they come to know that they other is having affairs on the side, they shall lose faith in the spouse. However, in more cases than not, they shall have faith in the relation of parents, because the fact that they are not loyal to each other does not prevent them from being good parents.

The final part - lost of faith in reason of existence of a relation. This is what keeps a relation going. It is the very fabric of a relation. It case of couples, that reason may be love, in case of friends could be the way that they interact. I shall not give an example for this but then I request you to take a minute and reflect on what will happen if the faith on the fabric of your relation with another human being is built on is torn. Will you be able to trust the other person again, will you ever be able to act the same way that you used to? I think not. That is why I believe “Faith lost in a person can be redeemed; faith lost in a relationship can redeemed. However, faith lost in the reason for the relationship cannot be redeemed.


Anonymous said...

nee blog ellaam eluthuve nu sollave illa ??


balu said...

ethavathu puriyira madhiri eludenda :@

Anonymous said...

photo kevalama irukku :@

Prats said...

Well, nicely written dude, but some how I have a different point of vew. I don't believe in the reasons of the relatioships, actually an honest relationship is for no reason. There are no conditions in any relatiosnship and if there are then one is not being honest in their relationships. A mother never expects a reason to bear the pain to bring her child ot life. And child never for a reason speaks the firsts word as 'ma'... the relationships are way above reasons...Thats wht I think

pushkala said...

well beautifully illustrated peice..
i was waiting for an elucidation on Faith on Divinity!
hope u bring that up also !


Rajaraman said...

At what prat said
Mother wants to bear the child bcoz only then she feels her womanhood is complete.
Yes I dont understand why the child should start his speech with maa. That is the gift of god to the mother for her pain, tolerance or to make her feel ahppy ultimately