January 14, 2008

Addendum to the eternal search

Now what happens if one finds someone and settles down? Does the search end?

It generally does not. The people in the relationship do still compare and contrast, this time with what they settled for and what they see outside. If the relationship is strong, then this momentary comparison does not lead to anything and they remain faithful to the relationship. However, there are times when the temptation is overbearing and people stray. It is after all human to compare and want something better than what we have.

The grass is always greener on the other side.


Lazy Lavender said...

Forget the looking outside and comparing. Even if that doesn't happen (say), are the people involved comfortable with their current relationship? The question of safety and security; or rather, doubt and insecurity.

aditya said...

Are not the question of safety and security because of comparison of what they have in who they have and what they see in others. I mean, i will lose security in my relationship because of either that person, or the fact that there can be someone else who gives me more, or that i am not looking for that outside.
Accepted that i may not look outside.. but then eventually i will

Lazy Lavender said...

The question of security is more because of the fear that the other person may find something more than what we offer, outside. I guess it will have to do with our partner's quest/search.

Rajaraman said...

Any relationship worth its name is born out of trust and trust worthiness.Both must be wothy of others trust. without that it can never be called a relationship.
Comparisons evaluations will all be ther but real relationship should stand the test of all adversities. between two friends or couple trust is the cornerstone.

Lazy Lavender said...

Very true, uncle. Any stable relationship requires mutual trust between the people involved.

Being worthy of trust is fine, but that's where my question lies. Whether the other person is worthy of our trust, we decide. How do we know that we are worthy of the other's trust? The confidence in/understanding of oneself and the other could help. That is why I raised insecurity and doubt; not because of the lack of trust in the other.

Rajaraman said...

As long as we do not do that will hurt the others emotionally,physically. mentally, materialistically, we should consider ourselves that we are worthy of the trust. There may be times that there will be doubts and misunderstanding etc but if it end well then it is okay.
We should create a set of boundary condtions which are normally accetable and act within that then there should be no problems
In sipte of all this if the opposite feels that we arenot trust worthy take it in the stride and learn to take it with pinch of salt and allow it to rest at that. May be that the quirk of fate.