January 14, 2008

The eternal search

I expect this post to open a can of worms. This post is going to be short. I hope that the discussions that the people can have after the post is done will make up for what I have not written.

Over the last few years, I have observed the people around me. More than them, I observed me. This is what I have concluded.

Man/woman lives in an eternal fear of being alone. No matter how confident he/she is about his life and the way it is progressing, he/she is scared that they will end up alone. If there is one thing that scares the bejesus out of them. This is a scare that is so deep routed that they will not even acknowledge it. Most of the adolescent life is spent trying to hide this fear. Most of adult life is spent trying to show either that they are not affected by this fear, or being a slave to this. All this is unknowing.

The single point I want to make is this: Every woman a man meets, is a potential candidate for someone with whom he will spend the rest of his life with. This is the same case with a woman as well. Every man she meets is a potential candidate for a husband. In case your orientation is for the same sex, that works too.

Every person carries around a list of conditions, a list of criteria in their head. Every member of the opposite sex he/she meets is cross verified against this list. The perceived characteristics are then crossed against the ones that are desired. The total number of yays shall decide what is the relationship that exists between the two.

  • If the total nays are significantly more than the yays, they cannot be more than friends.
  • If the total yays are significantly more than the nays, he/she will want the other to be more than just friends
  • If the totals are close, they will wait for more information to percolate downwards until there is a significant difference.
I remember one of my previous posts platonic relationships. There I had discussed the idea that it is not possible to maintain a platonic relationship with a member of the sex that interests you. I do maintain the statement, however modifying it slightly. I shall state that only if the total nays are significantly more than yays, will the platonic relationship work. Even if one is slightly interested, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Everyone is in a search for the one person. Every person you meet is a likely candidate. Everyone!


Lazy Lavender said...

I don't quite disagree. Waiting for the can to open up.


How true! Though that explanation deprives 'falling in love' of all magic and romance, we must admit that its sadly true.

I once read a quote that said somethin along the lines of

'All my male friends are just friends because there's atleast one thing I can't stand about them.'

And when I thought bout it, I realized it to be very true. :)

aditya said...

If one thinks about it, there is nothing magical about falling in love. It is another emotion, stemming from man's need to have company. I do not know of one man who has enjoyed the solitude when thrust upon him.
There is someone very close to me who said, "It is not that I do not like a boy, it is that I can convince myself that I love him or I do not love him."
If one is able to do such a thing, then where is the mystery in love and romance.
It is another instinct, another feeling, another rush of hormones!

Lazy Lavender said...

But bloody hell, its worth all the hype. I haven't found one other emotions which would give that rush of hormones for every person in the world. Each one gets high due to something; but if it had to be universal, I'd say its love.

And Aditya, just because it is 'just' a search for company, why shouldn't it be magical??