February 13, 2008

a d-day called v-day!

I guess that some point in time people have a yearning for companionship. That is the only reason that I can think of which makes a man put up with a woman for the segment of life called marriage. Please do not mistake me; a woman too has to put up with a man for that period. It is “I scratch your back, you scratch mine”.

We will not deal with the need for companionship. What makes the 14th of February so special that people feel miserable if they are alone on this day? What makes showing material proof of love on this day so important? What makes the material behind the love in most cases more important than the love itself?

To take this one-step further, what makes a man spend eons of time, thinking about what to get for someone he loves, and why does he think of what will be the most, to use a cliché, heart touching gift possible? Why does a married man come and ask his unmarried friends what to get his new wife (please, she is his first wife!).

The one thing that I do not understand is the justification that it is one day and it is just an occasion to showcase your love. Well please consider this, why must my love be something that needs to be displayed in a showcase, literally? Why do I need one day to show a love that is supposed (supposed, taken for granted?) to be present everyday?


What made me not showcase that love everyday she was with me? Why do I need to wait for the day, the all pervasive, the all sentimental, the all too mushy Valentine’s Day? The short form for the day is V-day, reminding one of the famous D-Day. It has to be more than coincidence!!!

Add to this the hype created by the media and the makes of Archie’s and Hallmark greeting cards, the makers of all the soft toys, the people who sell roses on the road, I guess economically, they make all the money that they budget for a year on this one day. One can see only this on all news channels (I would not be surprised, for in our media, there is a news channel that flashed as breaking news: Amitabh Bachchan has caught a cold!), where to take that special one, what to gift that special someone, so on till infinity.

I have only one opinion on this matter. Valentine’s Day is just another day in the calendar. No different to the 13th and I expect 15th to be no different. If I love a girl, I will love her each and every day, not just on one day. I will not need an occasion to showcase my love. It will be on display every single minute because lets face it, she is taking a huge gamble by even thinking of being with me, let alone being with me.

On the eve of V-Day, read as D-Day, I sign off this post saying, “Love is not meant to be bottled in a single day; it is a year long affair. Make it so. Happy Valentine’s Years to all those couples out there”.

11 comments:

Lazy Lavender said...

For the theists, if you worship God everyday, why the special pujas on say, Diwali or Ganesh Chaturti?

India has been independent from 1947, and we enjoy freedom every single day. Why 'celebrate' it on 15th of August? The same holds true for the Republic day.

When you have resolved to do something, why wait for Jan 1 to take resolutions?

When you love your mother, father and brother/sister all through the year, why the mother's day, father's day and raksha bandan?

I can go on questioning, but it wouldn't be necessary. So why do we have 'special' dates and days? I think it has to do with letting others know that we remember them, care for them and to appreciate the reason for the occasion.

How many people do you find on the roads everyday shouting about "India is a free country. I am independent"?

How many of us have this 'I love you mom' 'I love you dad' 'I love you bro/sis' as a part of our daily conversation? If not an oral expression, in some other way.

"Why should I express it openly?" "Shouldn't they know it without me telling them?" - if these are questions that would crop up, if they crop up, would have one answer, the one you talked about - 'the yearning for companionship' originating at and followed by insecurity needing constant reassurances. This, one would understand, if he/she took the time to see what the world and its people do.

The media and the other market sections associated with celebrations, have just made use of the opportunity and raised the hype given to it. And it is indeed true that all these occasions appear as marketing stunts orchestrated by the above. And the people do get lead/mislead by the media in order to meet their own personal selfish gains.

Valentine's day doesn't have to be the only day of expressing love. It could be one day when the relationship is cherished, brought to top of the lovers' mind, love given importance, if/if not it is showed everyday. Yes, it is just another day in the calendar, no different from the 13th or the 15th. The number/date 14th doesn't get the importance, the lover does, on that day.

aditya said...

@ S
You have just made my point more valid, nothing else. It is just another day, treat it as such. I will refrain from God. If one needs Mother's day and Father's day to let their parents know that they are loved, if they need Independence day to know that they are independent, if they need Republic day to know that their country is a republic, then the day has lost its meaning. Insecurity is another issue, constant assurances is another issue. At the end of the day, a zillion tiny drops of water are much more valuable than one gulp. You do not know the thirst if you had a million drops of water.

Lazy Lavender said...

I do not deny that it is 'just another day'. Only I am looking from a different angle. I ask 'Why not?'

A zillion tiny drops plus one big gulp, if at all there is something. Why not?

Yet again, if there are no drops throughout a year, and just the gulp on one day, I do not know what it would be, but an insult to oneself, the other and the relationship.

And I'd still say 'The DAY has no meaning'. Only the people do.

Rajaraman said...

I agree with ahi fully. The love should be sublime and internal. The love between two beings is something private and special. If it is true that it need not be publisised.
No use celbrating it on anyparticular day. Then it becomes another ritual
Independeance or republic days etc are the day on which a particlar accomplishments happeened so to keep the latest generation aware the day is celebrated. People celebrating the wedding days is fine nota valentine day that to going haywire.
We wish to ape the west in every way.hence the day, Makes sense to the trader card seller, fower seller, becayse their business flourishes at the cost of the young and still to be matured.

aditya said...

@ Dad
I am glad that finally there is something that we can agree upon.

@Sindhu
Is there not a contradiction in your statement? You agree that the day is not important and the people are. However, you go on to say that the day gains importance because of the people. You still have not answered the question why only on that day. What is stopping you from giving flowers to the one you love every day? What stops you from making each day special?
I do not see the difference between yesterday when I loved her and today when I love her.
I still think that the hype of the day is redundant, and I think that on some level that is what you are saying too.

Lazy Lavender said...

@Aditya,

---> "you go on to say that the day gains importance because of the people.".

Where?

I only remember stressing that the day/the date has no meaning.

Yes, it is just another day in the calendar, no different from the 13th or the 15th. The number/date 14th doesn't get the importance, the lover does, on that day.

I do not deny that it is 'just another day'.

And I'd still say 'The DAY has no meaning'. Only the people do.


---> "You still have not answered the question why only on that day."

ONLY on that day?

I don't think I'd entertain that idea.

Valentine's day doesn't have to be the only day of expressing love.

Yet again, if there are no drops throughout a year, and just the gulp on one day, I do not know what it would be, but an insult to oneself, the other and the relationship.


---> Redundant hype, yes I agree to it.

The media and the other market sections associated with celebrations, have just made use of the opportunity and raised the hype given to it.


*****
My response is this. The hype given to Valentine's Day is sure a lot. But so is the fuss created against the day. I guess that is pretty evident, even in here. Now my question is, when you don't go about saying Independence Days, Rakshabandan, Mothers, Fathers Days are all meaningless, why target Lovers Day?

Lazy Lavender said...

@ Uncle,

Your argument takes it in a different direction uncle.

Love is indeed personal, private and all. Publicising it is not what Valentine's Day is about. We can share it with our loved ones, in a special way, within our homes. It could still be a celebration. It is not a must that material gifts, or loud announcements have to be made. However such things happen, and that's because of the people themselves. Each one of us have our own ways of celebrating.

And regarding anniversaries, this would be similar to birthday-new year. Logically speaking, our new year would start when our old year ends. That is to say, on my birthday. But I still do celebrate new year, be it the 1st of Jan or 1st of Chittirai. Anniversary is when my love would complete a year. But V-Day would be the day when the whole world can rejoice.

And I don't understand why the person has to be young and immature to appreciate love. Don't we have the practise of celebrating the 60th bday of the husband as 'Arubadham Kalyanam' and the 70th and 80th ones as well? Those are for the good health of the couple, you may say, but if it is 'kalyanam'doesnt it also involve the relationship between the two?

Srikar Venkatesan K said...

i accept with what has been told here!
valentines day is a day for all those people who can start off their love on that day!
for the lovers, it should just be a normal day with no difference cos everyday is a v-day!
for the singles, well, they can rather not think of such a day having existed if they do not want to sit inside their own rooms waiting for someone to propose them!

and for the part of the shiv sena making a big deal out of demolishing every feb 14, it has to be upto them to realise that it is a silly thing to celebrate such a day and rather let us youth be! it is upto the youth to really realise that if at all a romantic day, it must be everyday!

Lazy Lavender said...

No wonder uncle mentioned the age, and maturity.

@Srikar, dude!! What's with the youth? Youthful lovers and singles?

You stop loving your wife if you get older? Scary!!

I tried to make a point. 'V-Day, neither necessary nor unnecessary. It's for those who wanna celebrate it. If you don't wanna, don't. The others celebration shouldn't make a difference to you. '

But I guess, even the youth don't get the point, neither behind the day nor what I say. So I rest my case here.

Srikar Venkatesan K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Srikar Venkatesan K said...

@lazy lavender: scary?? guess u dont get wat i comment. . its the elders who make a big issue out of the youth celebrating the v-day! and that is wat the youth must realise. and i m not "for" celebrating v-day. now, that dont mean tat i ll stop loving if i get older! hasnt it been obvious tat the elder ppl dont celebrate the v-day? but hey, they dont stop loving. its a day that has been given much hype in the current days! and give all the credit to us youth for giving so much hype!

P.S: its mostly the youth who celebrate the v-day publicly. and that is what i meant by us youth realising that if its a lovers day, its everyday. not that elders ought not to love or tat they should lose their love.