March 20, 2007

Unfounded Expectations

Everyone expects something,

From life, from friends, from all.

These expectations are based

On how we view them others;

The better the opinion formed,

The higher the expectation had.

But not everyone's perfect,

Not all are what they seem.

Times will surely come

When expectations are lost,

When they are not lived up to.

Times like these shall cause pain,

Give a sense of being let down.

My approach is simple,

Never expect anything at all;

From anybody or anything.

So what's done by them

Shall always be a lot more

Than my expected value, null.

If nothing's done it is fine

As nothing was expected,

No pain felt, No loss.

Expectations unfounded cause pain,

Only loss never gain.

No expectations founded or not,

Cause no pain, only gain.


Suchi said...

That seems sensible on the surface, but I believe it is not. I know, because I implemented this thought process for sometime last year.

I analyze it like this. There is something you want. The simplest thing you can do is to go and get it. Stand up, go, take it and walk back. But it is seldom that simple. Usually (but not always) what stands in your way is other people. I say 'not always' because a lot of times, you yourself stand in the way of what you want.

When other people stand in your way, I dont picture them as opposing whatever you want to do, but as bridges to be crossed before you get there. In other words, they have to perform something for you to advance towards your goal.

In such a case, when you sit back and don't really expect anything of them, how do you get what you want?

Picturise this case with an example of...say, getting a driving license. Or, finishing a project as a team. If you don't expect your tem members to pull their socks and work, you won't really bother when they don't, and so the efficiency of your team goes down, and your project is not going to turn out as you wanted it to be.

There's one more layer to this. An expectation is a very positive thing actually. For example, I know the way you write. When you write a piece that is below your standard, I know that it is definitely no where near your best, and will be able to point it out. I help your evolution as a writer, because I expect certain things of you.

Mathematically, I don't have my baseline at zero, but my baseline at what I percieve is your average. I analyze your performance based on whether you go beyond, or fall within the baseline. Then, my criticism or appreciation will be honest and consistent with my beliefs. If I have my baseline at zero, then until whatever I am judging is abysmally bad, I consider it above the baseline. So, in such a case, how can I trust the criticism or appreciation?

The good thing about not having expectations is that you will not be disappointed. But then, no expectations is just one step above no wants. Such a life seems insipid, colourless and bland to me. I should be able to feel emotions, all emotions, with the intensity and focus of the Sun's light. I want to be able to expect, and I want the maturity to understand that my expectations do not, will not, and should not affect how another person thinks or acts.

And yes. You have really evolved as a writer.

Nivi said...

this is exactly what u think when u feel let down by some ppl.. u decide thats it i am never gonna expect anything out of anyone as it maked my life simpler... but somehow it never works out!!! u just find yourself in the same roads sometime later wondering where tht decision of yours got lost!!!
having said that i like tht poem .. kinda reminds me of my thought process ...

Aditya said...

"no expectations is just one step above no wants"
It is not that I dont have expectations, what i mean is that i shall be the only person responsible for myself, the only person that i shall expect from.
The poem is on how to escape if you will from that disappointment.
As far as that thing on the article goes, the only who can affect my writing, as you know is me. I respect what you think. But i am in no way responsible if you have an expectation on what i write.

The challenge of leading a life with no expectations is to not lose sight of that. to always remember that we have no expectations. the human being is one who is born with expectations, to come out of that takes time and will.

Lazy Lavender said...

There are 2 kinds of expectations that will be relevant to this discussion. Expecting something of a person and expecting something from a person.
I believe the talent part, writing part that Suchi describes, falls under the "of" category.
I feel the author has referred to the "from" a person part. That has been my impression since the beginning.
Expecting others to do something for you, and getting disappointed because they failed, can be a real pain. Expecting others to do things for themselves will not affect us that much.
So, I'd agree with both the post and Suchi's comment.
I should be able to feel emotions, all emotions, with the intensity and focus of the Sun's light. Applause!! I'd concur on that.