April 3, 2007


I have spoken about this to many people and I am yet to come to a conclusion.

People, they talk and talk,
Saying things
They really don’t mean.
Of daily events,
Of daily deeds.
Things I don’t need to know
Things that mean not a thing.
Are they open,
Open to me,
Open to the world?

Here I am,
So closed,
So unknown.
Every thought,
Every deed,
Known to me,
Unknown to all.
I let you in my thoughts
I show you what I think,
The things that matter,
The things I hold dear,
Closest to my heart.

Who is open,
Who is closed?
Who is secure,
In insecurity?
Who is insecure,
In security?
Who has a need,
Need to know?
Who has a need,
A need to say?
Who is real, who is not,
Who is to say?



Rajaraman said...

All open people are not open always and all closed people are not always closed.
Open people want to hide something so they talk.
Inclosed people they always leave some gap wherefrom you can pick alot of info. Bur not always. But for getting that you need to be alert. That is it.

Suchi said...

Does it matter?
Does it not suffice
That what is me
Cannot be you
Or him?

That my openness
Or closedness
Is my choice?

Like nicotine
Your stories
Your anecdotes
Your feelings
Your deeds
Your everything
Birds from your closet
Engulf the air.

I don't want it.

And then there's another
But opens his door
Just a chink
To show me
His light,
His treasures
His life

I don't want it.

How does it hurt me?
I know
What to say
How to say
Who to say to
How much to say.
How does it hurt me?

Too much security?
I don't know.

There is no falsehood here.
The open person says, because he wants to say what he thinks.

The closed person does not say, because he does not want to.

To speak out belies a mind that keep nothing in...you are bare, you hide nothing. There is honesty in that.

To close in means that you have things, but you do not want to show it.

There is honesty in that too...not saying anything does not mean that I am not real, not true. Just that there are some things I'drather keep to myself.

This post leaves me with more questions than answers.

@Comment above:
"Open people want to hide something so they talk."

That's a new one. An unexplored place on the map.

Rajaraman said...

open people wnat to hide something so they talk.
This is psycholgy.
This aspect only helps in many crime investigation. People who want to hide somethings they keep on talking relevant or irrelevant.Thar exposes them.
Closed people always dont want to speak not bcoz they dont want but bcos that may expose their character. They are afraid what they want say may not be paltable to others they may become unpopular
for them the closed behaviour is a maskbehind which they hide. they may be worried abiut the consequences of openness.
Aword said has only one connotation. But the word unsaid has many.

Suchi said...


Why is a person closed?

It may be because he has something to hide, as you say, and to keep it hidden (and not face social persecution for whatever it is he hides) he is closed.

Or, it may just be that there are some things that he'd rather not say, he is more comfortable keeping them to himself.

There is no integrity in the first option. If he has something in him that he himself cannot defend against others, then he had better not have that quality. It is infinitely better to be open about it, and face society, than be closed about it. I do not consider such people as humans, they ewar masks that dstort and alienize them. Their attitude reflects insecurity.

A person who keeps something to himself because he does not want to show it is entitled to it. Privacy cannot be contested.

What makes me think here is, why should a person want to keep something to himself for no apparent reason at all? Simply just because? Does it imply insincerity? Insecurity? Or a sense of overwhelming security?

An open person, might, in the same way, be open because he has nothing to hide, or open because he has something to hide. In the former case it is easy to understand, because he declares everything. The latter case is what you have pointed out. In this context, your final words :'A word said has only one connotation, a word unsaid has many' is null and void, because in the first case, even when a person is open, there is something he hides, and that something makes him gregarious.

Conversations are made up of many things, words, actions, expressions, even your breath. There are some things said, some things unsaid. All I ask for is, let your words be one with oyour thoughts and actions. I don't mind what you tell me otherwise.

My humble opinion.

Lazy Lavender said...

Being open or not, is one's own choice. In my opinion, the reasons could be:
Open: 1) They have a lot of things to talk. They just can't keep things to themselves. They need to let them out. Talking gives them some kind of solace.
2) Like said earlier, they have something else hiding inside and they cover it up with empty talk outside.
Closed: 1) They are content with keeping things with themselves. They don't have this urge to go about telling others about their life.
2) They have something inside and do not want/are ashamed of letting others know about it. They are secretive and hence don't talk.

I would say point 2 of both the characters can be on the bad side. But otherwise, it's an individual choice. Each one has got his own reasons. I don't have anything to comment about it.

Rajaraman said...

about the openness. one has to conscious of three things Idam porul eval. So depending on the the three one can be open or closed.
When we talk of openness I think we are only talk of people with whom you can be open very familiar or veru thick or pally ,pally If you can be open with some one why remain closed? where is the question of Privacy there.
If you are closed with some one with whom you can be or have been open,that is a mask. I think such people have some motives hidden agenda.
I reminded off the conversation between two grat characters in PONNYIN SELVAN Vandhiaya Thevan and Azhvarkkadian.
"If you dont pester too much I need not have to lie to you."
How nice it is. He does not want to reveal is mind at the same time he is open to his counterpart.

Suchi said...

Isn't there something that all of us hold sacred, close to our heart, that we can't talk about everywhere, to all people, sometimes to no one? To keep that to himself, I feel, is the prerogative of the person.

Azhwarkadiyan was a spy. And as a spy, his closedness was essential, without knowing on whose side Vandiyathevan was, he could not blabber to him, could he?
This is professional in nature. What we are talking about iis on a personal plane.